Let love lead the way?

Upon thinking on what would be ideal as the topic for this post, the chorus for Let Love Lead the Way popped up in my mind. Maybe that's coz its what I'm feeling right now. *sigh* After the incident with the psychotic gf, my self-esteem seems to have dropped even further. It's no longer zero, but now has the -ve sign in front. I don't know why it affects me badly, but I feel so demoralized. I'm not sure if thats the right word for me to use. Maybe its a little too exaggerating..

Had a picnic earlier on today. Had a great time. Well, almost... I mean, things were going on just fine. Lovely weather, great food, good friends.. Things was just great.. Until this person starts talking happily about "My Girlfriend". BANG! Bullet through my heart. :'( Guess I'm still not used to hearing that phrase and knowing its not me. Why is life so complicated?

Know what I miss the most? Having those 'butterflies in my tummy' feelings. Odd isit? But that's what I miss. While waiting to meet up, or while waiting for a phone call.. Reading a sms, deciding what to wear.. Wondering where are we going, whats the plan for today.. All those with having that 'butterflies in my tummy' feeling. Haha.. Ok, ok.. I know. I'm weird.. *sigh* I do miss that.. But, whats done is done. Can't change anything.. No more 'butterflies in my tummy' for me anymore..

*sigh* Sooner or later I'd have to start back at square one.. Still afraid to take the risk coz sometimes I feel like giving up on believing in love. It doesn't seem as beautiful as it was before.. So for now, I guess I'll just have to go with the flow.. Taking baby steps..

I'm talking nonsensce again, am I? Bedtime. Nite.