Guess guess guess?

People always say that a picture says a thousand words.

What does this picture says?

:)

Nitey-nite.

Spontaneous? Huh.

What did I do to deserve all this?

For the few past years, I've been trying to move on, forgive and forget. I've made very little progress so far. But when someone from my past re-appeared into my life, he helped the process become lighter. With all the turmoil going on in my life, he helped me believed that I will get better and that I will finally be able to let go.

See, I used to have a crush on this person. He re-appeared during the moments when I felt so beaten up. Tired of everything, tired of pretending. I was dying inside wile on the outside I put on my happy face. I was miserable. But when he re-appeared, I suddenly remembered how fun it used to be. Laughters everywhere. He made me feel like the me I used to be. No worries, no pretends. Just being me. I liked it. Very much. But I doubt that he knows.

I told myself I would not fall for him again. It's too dangerous. Not when my heart still loves XX. But I guess some old flames are hard to be completely extinguished. Little by little, when he made me feel like the old me, some of the little feelings I had for him began to resurface. What should I do? And he was no help either by using endearment terms with bits of hints here and there.

Till one day, made a fool of myself. *sigh* I unconsciously told him that I might be falling for him again. Would he stay this time? Sh*t! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Should had just changed my number after that and pretend that I no longer existed on Earth. But I did not. And so the next day,he told me ever so sweetly, he can't. 'Coz he was afraid that he would not always be able to be there for me when I need him. So why don't we take things slow for a mo' and be spontaneous. Go with the flow and see what happens. Me, being the idiotic person who can never really explain what I wanted to actually say, I just said OK.

So, almost a year had past. What has happened to us? Few calls once in awhile with some sms-es in between. Few I miss you's were exchanged with a joke here and there.

Then the bombshell. 2 weeks ago, after a concerned conversation, he told me he's getting married next year.

......

And what did I say in reply? "Congrats!" "I'm so happy for you!"

:'(

Yes I know. Stupid me. But what else should I had said?

So, I told myself that it's ok. It was never meant to be between us. And I continued on with my happy face plastered outside, not knowing what else I should do or say.

But, are you ready for another Earth-shattering news?

When I couldn't take it any more, I turned to my old bestie, who happened to be friends with the old-flame guy. I told her that I didn't know that we were supposed to stop being spontaneous until he told me that he's getting married. :'( Guess what she told me ...

She asked, getting married? To whom? 'Coz a few weeks ago, he just broke up with one of her friends. She din tell me anything about them being together because she thought there was nothing happening between us.

So, all this while he was in a relationship with another? That was all I could think of.

What did I do to deserve all this?

I give up.