One month

Yesterday marks 1 month. 1 month has passed by. Has it been too fast or too slow?

 

There are times I completely forgot that that incident happened. But then there are times when I am alone, I would miss the little private moments I alone go through and experience.

 

Yesterday when I woke up, the first thought I had was the amount of mixed feelings surging through me one month ago. Anxious, sad, worry, angry, and loneliness. One month ago, I stood looking out of a window, watching the world wake up and prepare to face another new day. There was a feeling of serene calmness as I watch the sky changes colour and became brighter. It rained the night before, so the street before me looked as if washed anew.

 

New Life.

 

If I could have captured the image I saw while looking out of my window that morning, that would be the title I choose to name the picture.

 

Out of the many moments and feelings I had and felt that 24 hours, the moment I looked put of the window in the early hours of a new day would be the one that continues to haunt.

 

Sometime I regret making that decision. But then I know to choose the other way, I was not ready.

 

My faith is slowly being eaten.

Time flies ...

Hello poppets.

Tick-tock, it's almost end of April. And my last post was in Jan, wishing everyone a happy new year. Haha! Been really busy, work and everything else in between. But, life's good.

Was scrolling through stuffs in my Tab earlier on. And I came across this Whatsapp Conversation that I saved. Reading through it made me smile. Especially at one part. 

So a year ago, I was busy exchanging Whatsapp texts with a person, getting to know him better. And on this one particular day, March 23, I suddenly texted 'I miss you.' Why? Haha, typical me. Cause I was somewhat mad at another friend of ours for something he said about only being friends for now and will go on separate ways when Uni life is over. We were just teasing each other actually. And so from that 'I miss you' sentence, our conversation went on to giving advises and stuff. Coz this person told me that he is too busy working 12 hours a day that he doesn't have time to be in a relationship. Me being me,  I started to spurt out advises. One of it goes like this, "Find a girl who is patient and understanding. Don't worry too much, she might turn up in the most unexpected time and place."

Me and my big mouth. Guess who was the girl he found?

Me.

Hahaha! Yes, that person I was giving advises to was Love. Back then we were just starting to know each other better. I was already attracted to him, heck I've been attracted since the first time I met him. But I just brushed it off and told myself I wasn't ready for anything and that I still wanted to have fun. Those advises that I gave, I sincere meant him to find someone else that he would find suitable for him. How was I supposed to know his patient and understanding girl ended up being me. 

Next Sunday marks 1 year for us. Time really does flies. Looking back on how we started out, still makes me smile. I guess the chemistry was already there from day 1 but we just weren't sure. We were usually under the influence of alcohol whenever we hang out together. But then, if it wasn't for the alcohol influence then we wouldn't realize our feelings for each other. Back then, whenever he sends me back after our nightlife activities,  I would always say thank you and give him a kiss in his cheek. Even if it wasn't him sending me home, I'd hug him before leaving and tell him I had fun. Haha, silly tipsy me. 

1 year. Makes me wanna cry sometimes. My reward for surviving all the previous tears and heartache. Among everything and anything else that I have done in my life, I am never more sure of anything else then I am sure about him. Thank you so much Heavenly Father, he is the answer to all my previous prayers done in tears.

One more week Love, then it's already a year for us. Thank you for making me smile everyday. I know I advised you to look for a patient and understanding girl, and you've told me you found that girl in me. But the truth is, you are my patient and understanding guy. 

Praying for many more years to come.

Happy 1st Anniversary in advance Love.

(because I won't be blogging next week!)

xoxoxo

2013 already?

Happy New Year!

Yes, I know I'm a bit late in this. But then, better late then never right?

So before we start off 2013, I was thinking maybe it's best for me to summarize what has happened in 2012.  Actually I'm just going to list out the good memorable things that happened. So here we go!

First memorable thing I did in 2012 was, finally chopping off my long hair. As per picture below, it's only shoulder length. But hey, that's already really short for me. So, yeah! 

Shoulder length hair

Following this short hair memory would be the one memory and incident that has made a big impact on my life. Him. Although I met him back in 2011, it was 2012 that made us realized and open up our hearts to each other. And so in 2012, I found my soulmate.

Who would have thought?

Moving on to the next most memorable thing I did for 2012 was no other then attending the Big Bang Alive Tour Concert in KL at Stadium Merdeka! Yea, I didn't blogged about this because had been really busy. And to blog about it now would be like so yesterday news. 

27 October 2012, our dream finally came true!

Definitely until WHENEVER :)

Then, I adopted a puppy! Picture below is when Mishka Bailey aka Mika has only been with us for 1-2 weeks. She's now bigger, and is very cheeky. But I love her. 

Puppy love

Oh! And the reasons why I seldom blog (and didn't even blogged abaout Big Bang!) was because I got my first official job. Tada! 

First step on starting my career

Ok, what else? Attended his bands' gig. My first ever in a place like that! Homai, so not my everyday music. Hahaha! 

One Kill Wonder, his band

Bought my first Craftholic, together with his as his birthday gift. And nope, the pink is not mine.

Kis and Rie, our first Craftholic. Can you guess which they are?

One of my babe got engaged. One by one, settling down. Age really is catching up.

One down, many more to go.

 One of my favourite memory for 2012, was the days spent with my housemate and also close friend. This year, she got pregnant. Was so happy and excited for both she and her husband! It's her first child and my first experience having someone close to me pregnant and being there to see it grow. The days spent watching out for her daily nutrient consumptions and also trips to the clinic, nothing can beat that. And finally in December, I get to meet the lil one.

Christian Ivan Roy, 2 months old

And finally, my family vacation. It has been awhile since me and my family went on a real vacation together. So since we bought the tix early on 2012, we've been pretty excited about it. We went back to a place where we (well, minus my lil bro who has been there like twice) always went to back when we were lil kids. 

SINGAPORE

(I shall write another post for this alone later with more pics, I promise.)

Upon arrival in Changi Airport

The first place we went on our family vacay was no other then the most mentioned Universal Studio Singapore, USS.

Le siblings. Yes I'm the shortest, eventhough I'm the eldest.

Too many rides. But our most favourite, and by far the best I've ever been on, would be no other then Cylon. It's a rollercoaster where Human battles against Cylon. EPIC COOL!

Red tracks for Human, Blue tracks for Cylon

After that day, we went to JB for two nights. And lil sis dragged me to, no other then Hello Kitty Land. I am so not a fan of Hello Kitty. 

Hellolololo Kitty! 

Then, Legoland! Was not as awesome as USS. But still, a vacation is a vacation. You got to enjoy while you can. Right?

Sunburnt!

I saw the Taj Mahal! Well, mini lego version of it...

Back to Singapore after 2 nights, then we went to Marina Sands. 

Pretty right?

 Anddd.. Singapore Zoo! I insisted on coming. My childhood revolves aroung the memory of Singapore Zoo. So, why miss the chance to go there again?

Happy Child!

Orchard Road, where me and my sis spent our Christmas night chit-chating at one of the Starbucks outlet

I love Orchard Road during Christmas!

And finally, we can not miss out Sentosa.

Cable car ride into Sentosa

Underwater World

 And yeah, I guess thats all the major stuff that happened in 2012. Mind you, there's so much memories to share. But I can say, these are what will pop up to mind for the year 2012.

2013

New year usually means new resolution, new challenges, new adventures,

I pray that this year will be awesome. I know there will be hardships to be faced as well but lets just remind ourself that with every challenge we overcome, we grow wiser. 

For this year, I pray that I will be more focus and serious with my career. Buliding up myself to be a better individual. To get closer to God and learn of His ways. To be always patient and understanding in my relationship with Love.

May 2013 be awesome for you all too!

God bless :)

Ending this post with my most favourite picture for 2012

If this isn't love, then tell me what it is?

Til next post.

xoxoxo

依然爱你?

This is unexpected.

Before I go on with this post, I'd like to share a quote I read few weeks ago.

"Your absence has been too long, that your presence doesn't matter anymore."

Yeah. Exactly what I wanna talk about.

I never thought it would come to this. I never thought there could/might be a different future with someone different other than you. But the sad thing is, it will and is happening right now. You're so confusing, and I guess you always will. I'll never truly understand what is it you actually want from me, from us (if there ever was an us in your head). Motivation or Distraction? You chose to stay away, to stay quiet. Ignoring me or anything about me. I guess you have your own reasons. 

You always told me to let things be.

"Time will tell."

And time has shown me.

Time has shown me that we were never meant to be.

You will never be anything more to me than just a tiny feeling that I'd keep away at the corner of my heart. 

Time has shown me that there's another who is not afraid to show his effort no matter how busy or tired he is. And as time passes, time has shown me that I am not attracted to this guy, I'm actually falling in love. 

Then what was the feeling I had for you before time showed me my real feelings? I'm guessing, it's more to the sense of nostalgia... 

How you are always able to remind how I was before and made that character reappear after all the drama I've been through, maybe I was just holding on to that. 

I am not sure....

But what I am sure, its goodbye.

Sorry we never got the chance to develop further into a different type of relationship. 

Letting go for the third time.

Sucks real bad.

But hey, thats life.

"Time will tell."

It has.

I miss....

Hello there poppets!! ;)

Dunno why but that phrase just popped up. So random.

Lately I've been in a lovey-dovey mood. Went to sleep at night listening to songs like Jason Derulo's What If. Maybe its because of all these wedding invitation that I have been receiving. Up till today, I've received 7 wedding invitation and also 2 engagement invitations. So, lovey-dovey mood kicking in...

I'm not saying that I desperately wanna be in a relationship. No, I'm happy now. Enjoying my life with the new circle of gfs and thr environment they bring. But sometimes at night, I kinda miss some things that only being in a relationship can provide.

I kinda miss playing around with sum1, being just the silly me and giggling to whatever silly jokes that only we get.

I miss feeling so small and vulnerable in the arms of sum1 that loves me. I miss the cosy, protected feelings.

I miss the quietness and content feeling when i'm with sum1.

Yes, yes, I know I'm a dreamer. But hey, thats just me. ;)

I miss a lot of things, but I'm not in a rush. When the time is right, I guess I will feel all those again. With the right person. Til then, I'll just smile and enjoy each and every passing day to the fullest.

;)

Lets talk about ... ...

About what?
I don't know. Have no idea really.
But since this is my blog, I am free to talk about whatever I want to.
So buzz off if you don't like what I write.
Understand?
Mun sik suka apa yg aku tulis kat ctok, xboh baca ...
Senang cerita ...
:)

Yesterday after I was tired of revising, I went through a file of love letters. Haha. Cheered me up coz what was on those letters were funny. No, not many romantic stuffs. But lots of cute drawings. I always anticipated on receiving a letter from that person before, just becoz of the drawings. :)

But then, after going through those files made me realized how I have changed. Hurm. I liked myself back then. Eventough the person I have become today is much more wiser, I seem to have lost the sense of finding happiness out of every situation I face. I was always positive. Where has that girl gone? I guess after the incdent that happened to me in 2007, that part of me that was always positive seemed to have vanished. Fear and sadness began to take over, though as hard as I tried to hide it.

Hey, Hey! You, You!
I don't like your girlfriend.
No way, no way.
I think you need a new one.

Haha. Lyrics that had been in my head since April. Just got to wrtie it down. Sorry. :)

Saya ada projek besar mok dipolah tok. Dah dapat persetujuan dah dari orang empu nya badan. Hehehehehehehe. Sangat happy. :)) Moga2 plan tok dapat siap dengan cepat dengan hasil yang produktif. :)

Btw, this song is for you. Reading through those old letters reminds me of this song. It used to be one of our favorites. Do you remember? :) Heard this song last week made me smile. How innocent and naive we were back then, right? Haha. But I do miss those moments. I miss you. I miss us. I miss everything.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Stay with me
Don't fall asleep too soon
The angels can wait for a moment

Come real close
Forget the world outside
Tonight we're alone
It's finally you and I

It wasn't meant to feel like this
Not without you

Cos when I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme without you
When I see how my path
Seem to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

Don't be afraid
I'll be right by your side
Through the laughter and pain
Together we're bound to fly

I wasn't meant to love like this
Not without you

Cos when I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme without you
When I see how my path
Seem to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

I made a few mistakes, yeah
Like sometimes we do
Been through lot of heartache
But I made it back to you

Cos when I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme without you
And when I see how my path
Seem to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

When I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme without you
When I see how my path
Seem to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:)

Flashback~~

I'm bored. I have no topic. And I was browsing thru FB just awhile ago. Saw this pic and it brought back happy memories.

I did say that I spent 5 years of my childhood in a another country rite? Actually, it was 7 years.. :) From 1988 til 1994. That pic above was my last class photo taken in Woodford International School. I do miss those times. (Check out my socks. Haha!)

In case some of you are wondering,
Woodford is in Honiara, Solomon Islands.
I miss it there. I especially miss the scenery, the beaches. If I had enough money, I'd go back there for a holiday. That would be so cool. :)

One of the frequent asked question whenever I mention Solomon Islands.
"Where is Solomon Islands?"
-.-"


Can you see it? :)

I really do miss it there. I miss waiting for the school drums 'cause it means that we'll be out for a break. I miss the lunch bells where we had to freeze on the first ring. Then on the second ring, we'd have to rush back into class. Haha. Funny right?

I miss Sports Day and the house chants.

"Boom-a-racker , Boom-a-racker, Boom-a-racker BANG!!
We are the kids from the Tenaru gang
We love to jump; We love to run
So come on Tenaru TRY TRY TRY!"

Haha. That's my house chant. I still remember it even after 16 years. Btw, Tenaru is the Blue house. Missing Sports Day a lot!!

I miss going to Hot Cross Buns in Honiara and buying this one icing bun that has a single cherry on top. And listening to my dad singing the song "Hot Cross Buns" from my nursery rhymes while he drives us there.

I miss going to Mendana Hotel for lunch or dinner and watching the dance performance.

I miss going for picnics at the beautiful beaches.

I miss inviting my friends over so that we could play dress-up. :)

I miss everything from my childhood days.

Nostalgic mode,

What was you're ambition when you were 6?

The other day, I answered a random question in Facebook. It was about what was your ambition when you were little. I smiled when I thought back on what I wanted to be.

There was one period of time when I wanted to be a Professional Ballerina. (I still do!) I was quite serious on becoming a ballerina. My parents enrolled me for ballet classes in Honiara when I was 4. I was delighted when my god-father gave me a present in the form of a ballerina tutu and also a pair of ballerina shoes. (I still have them somewhere in my closet). I even took part in a ballet performance. The performance was based on one of my favorite Disney Princess, Sleeping Beauty. But as I was a beginner and was too small to handle important roles, I ended up being a minion fairy. -____-“ Still it was fun. But then, my ballet classes had to come to an end because my family had to move back to Malaysia. *sigh* There goes my Professional Ballerina dreams. Up until today, I really envy those ballerinas I see in the tellie, especially if they are performing Swan Lake. :(

Then, I wanted to be a Professional Pianist. I love music and I especially love the piano. Love touching the keys and listening to the sounds they make. And so, my parents enrolled me for piano lessons (to make up for my ballet classes). I was thrilled. Every week, I’d look forward for my piano lessons. Even though my instructor was very strict and fierce, the best day of the week would always be the day I have piano lessons. I’d walk to my instructor’s house for these lessons, rain or shine.

Wait! There’s one funny incident I can never forget that happened on those short walks I took. There was one time when I was on my way; I was suddenly surrounded by dogS! I didn’t know what to do so I just stood there; too petrified to shout or ask for help (I was only 6 or 7 at that time). I wanted to run but then I remembered reading from somewhere that if you run, dogs will tend to chase you. So there I was, trying to stand very still, hoping the dogs would lose their interest in me and go away. I was just a millisecond away from crying when my ‘knight in shining armor’ came to the rescue. (Actually, he was just a kid bit older than I was, riding his bike on the way to a convenient store. -____-“) So, he chased away the dogs then came back to make sure I was alright. The only thing I can remember him saying to me was “OK. You can go now. Dogs are gone.” Haha.

Ok, Ok. Back to my ambition on becoming a pianist. No, did not turn out to be a pianist. Another shattered dream along with my ballerina dream. Had to quit my piano lesson when I found out that I’d be entering SM Sains Kuching, which is a Sekolah Berasrama Penuh (SBP). So, goodbye Professional Pianist.

After that, I have no idea on what my ambition was anymore. But! I found a new passion. Writing. I love to write. Whenever I feel sad or angry or just bored, I’d pick up a pen and just write. Prove? My ever so thick diaries from high school and matriculation. :) (Psst! I’m still doing it. But no more books. It’s all in my lappie.)

I love poetries. I love short stories. I love anything to do with writing. My favorite subject during high school? English Literature. I love Shakespeare. Love, love, love Shakespeare. Used to dream that one day I could go and study bout him and all those other famous writers. And so, after my SPM, I tried to apply for TESL. Figured that that would be my first step on my journey to go and study more on Shakespeare and the others. But, no answer. :( I thought that maybe my English wasn’t good enough. So I waited. After taking my MUET, I tried to apply again. But still, no can do. Imagine the frustrations! So, goodbye Shakespeare. That was when someone suggested that I should consider studying linguistic. BUT, my parents and relatives were against that idea. *sigh*

In the end, where am I? Here in Curtin, doing a double major in Commerce. Commerce! That’s like so different then what I wanted to be when I was little. Loving my Marketing units but really struggling through my Finance units. Why oh why did I took finance? *sigh* How do I see myself in the future? Ugh! Pretty bleak for me in the finance stream. :( Hope I’d do better in the marketing stream.

Oh wait! I’ve found another passion. Baking. Actually, I’ve been baking ever since I was a kid. Helped Mummy a lot in the kitchen. The first cake that I baked all by myself was a birthday cake for Mummy when I was 10 years old. Did it from scratch, ok? Even the icings. That was 13 years ago. Now, here I am, baking and selling cupcakes as a way of eliminating stress from studying too much. :) Maybe after I’ve completed my degree in Finance and Marketing, I could go for classes at Wilton? Can I? Haha.

Eva Holt! Don’t you dare forget bout BrainWash. :)

Anyway, what I’m trying to tell is that what you dreamt of as little kids might not necessarily come true when you get older. Take my ambitions for example.

Yes, I would still love to be a ballerina. But I don’t think my bones could tolerate on all those pointy toes exercises anymore.

Yes, I would still love to be a pianist. I still can go back for piano lessons. But then, when I’m done, would the world be ready for an old pianist? Haha.

Yes, I would still love to study bout Shakespeare. Guess I’d have to settle on Google-ing infos bout him rather than attending lectures.

Maybe in the future, you’ll see me running my own business. Selling cupcakes, cookies, cakes, pies, scones and what so ever. :)

Or maybe, just maybe I’ll be writing articles for some glossy high class magazine. :) (I still love writing ok?)

Who knows what the future might bring. Come what may.

Memory from the past~

I didn't had anything to do today. So I figured rather than just sitting around, it would be better if I helped a friends of mine. There's going to be a wedding in June, so she's busy searching for great love songs (old & new) to be played during the reception. So I went searching through the net for love songs that seems suitable for the reception. Then I saw a song, a fav of mine in one of the list. It's from a Disney cartoon name Anastasia. I watched that movie when I was a lil girl and the songs from the movie stuck with me until now. I loved the movie and also the songs from the movie. 2 of the songs that I loved the most would be Once Upon A December and also At The Begining. It's the lyrics that grabbed my attention.

This is Once Upon A December



While this is At The Beginning
(p/s: This song will be a must at my wedding in the future.hehehe)



At The Beginning Lyrics:

We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me
This is the start

(chorus)
And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there whenthe storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

(chorus)

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

(chorus)

In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you