11.12.13

Look at the date.

I am not surprised that lots of people chose to get married today. It will be a long time til we get to see this date again. So people tend to make today's date a memorable date.

Me?

Same old, same old.

Woke up late for work, rushed like a crazy woman, worked my butt off, OT-ed as usually, came home tired.

Nithing memorable, at all.

How about u?

How did you spend your 11.12.13? 

Random blabberings.

Good night poppets!

xoxo

Forgive me...

...but I lied.

You told me it would be hard to find another if I would stick to you. You said it would be hard cause I would be comparing everyone else with you. You said I would miss out a lot if I did not open up my eyes to the other possibilities in life.

And what did I answered?

I smiled and told you not to worry because I would not compare.

But I lied.

Unintentionally.

How can I not compare? 

It's the little things that made me smile.

Sure, we're nothing more than friends that are comfortable with each other.

And I am fine with that.

But still, forgive me.

I am comparing. 

Even though just a bit.

Hopeless...

In reality it would be hopeless in ever meeting you again.
So can we meet up in my dreams?
My dreamland would also become my fantasyland.
A place to forget the harsh reality.
So, let's go.
I'll wait.

It's Monday again...

...but baby I don't care. Coz when I'm with you, everything feels alright.

Yeah... Its lyrics from a song. Lame, I know.. But for this semester, I love Mondays. Hehehe. No, I'm not gonna tell why.

2 in the morning, almost 3. Why am I still up? ASSIGNMENT!!! Been forcing myself to get it done but sadly, I just can't. Why oh why am I like this?? *sigh* And I just found out a while ago that I have not 2, but 3 presentation on the week after my free week. Demm!!! So my free week won't be so free. (¡_¡) *stress*

Ok bye. Gonna go and force myself to do the assgnment. Grrr!!

xoxo

If I Could Have Just One Kiss?

Haha. Watsup wif d tittle? It's a line from a song thats been stuck in my head for almost a week now. Just One Kiss by Nick Carter. Oh? Heard a snigger there. Yes, I'm a Nick Carter fan. Been a fan since 1997. Hush! Haha.

Right now, I'm suppose to be typing my 2000 word essay. But I don't have the motivatiin and I don't have any idea how to start. Waiting for the 'feel' to come. Then I can start. Haha. So until the 'feel' comes, lemme waste some time doing nothing. **procastinating** :)

Lately, I dunno why but I feel trapped. Dunno what more suitable words to use. Sorry Mr.Bestie if my answer was not the one you wanted to hear. But after a 5yr relationship, not including the time I took to completely let go and move, I wanna be free. I wanna enjoy being single. Haha. I cannot describe the incredible feelings i feel now when my heart has finally moved on. I fly like I could soar! *exaggerate* Haha. But really, I can't find the right word to describe. I'm just so very happy. So I wanna savour this feeling. I don't wanna get tied up so soon. Luciky the Bestie understands. Heck, more than understands! He gave me advises some more! <- direct translation. My dad will kill me if he finds out I'm writing sentences thus way. Anyway, he really is a sweet guy. But I dunno.. I don't have that butterfly in ur tummies feelings with him. *sigh* Besides, even though we've known each other for like 12 years ... People changes. Believe me, I've changed. In High School, I was this noisy girl that laughs out loudly and swear excessively. Haha. Look at me now. I've grown up. And this is who I am now, not the loud noisy girl from High School. And I'm afraid, its dat loud noisy girl he's looking for. Well she's still here, somewhere deep inside. But there a sensitivepart of me over that noisy girl now. Heartache and experience really changed me. :) So, even with 12 years of friendship, Mr.Bestie doesn't know me well enough yet. And sadly, I sometimes get annoyed. So to save whatever friendship I have left, that was the best answer I could give.

Btw, my lil bro will be studying in Miri now. Starts on Monday. Hope he will be better. :)

Now, I better go back to staring at my lappie screen. *sigh*

p.s : I dunno why but suddenly there's A LOT of cute guys when I walk around campus. Haha.

xoxo

Guess guess guess?

People always say that a picture says a thousand words.

What does this picture says?

:)

Nitey-nite.

Dream on, dream on ..

:: Midnight blues ::

What should I do? Why do I keep on having these feelings?

Feelings as if I don't belong here anymore.

There's always this sense of uneasiness.

*sigh*

You make me happy, you make me sad.

You're the reason for my laughters, and also for my tears.

When I'm with you I am calm and content.

Yet in the same time , you'd start a mini storm inside of me.

I'm so clueless.

What should I do?

Adaka patut ***** padah mun aku cium XX lak mulut aku kembang esok harinya? Sedih aku nya padah aku camya. Aku sik pernah pun minta apa2 jaik terjadi kat nya. Bila nya sakit gik aku risau, salu wish nya cepat sembuh. Tapi kenak nya padah camya kat aku pulang? Sedih aku. Dala mok anta 'benda' ya datang sebab takut aku polah benda pelik. Perlukah? Ya aku sik suka mun ada melibatkan 'benda2' camya. Sik suka alu jak aku. Psycho alu jak. Sedih eh aku. Jangan jak aku mimpi buruk lagi malam tok. Tapi cgek la aku heran. Kenak nya takut alu aku akan buat apa2 dgn XX sampe pelu padah camya? Aku rasa bukan aku yang nya pelu takut. 'Coz ada sorang yang lain gik. :'( Leave me alone bah..

*sigh*

What should I do?

FML

Once in a while :)

Once in a while, I'll listen to BM songs. There's one song that I liked but never bother to find out bout the tittle. Until the karaoke session we had during Raya. :) It's Ceritera Cinta. Haha.

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Hm..

I think you're right. I am torturing myself. But sometimes, I can't help it. It itches. I have to know. I have to find out. Though now I am better in controling myself. I hope. Still my heart still hurts once in a while.. Hopefully soon it won't hurt at all. Be patience little heart. Don't go opening up wounds that haven't healed completely.

Encouragement or Sarcasm?

Taken from the entrance of a high school.

You decide.

:)

Let love lead the way?

Upon thinking on what would be ideal as the topic for this post, the chorus for Let Love Lead the Way popped up in my mind. Maybe that's coz its what I'm feeling right now. *sigh* After the incident with the psychotic gf, my self-esteem seems to have dropped even further. It's no longer zero, but now has the -ve sign in front. I don't know why it affects me badly, but I feel so demoralized. I'm not sure if thats the right word for me to use. Maybe its a little too exaggerating..

Had a picnic earlier on today. Had a great time. Well, almost... I mean, things were going on just fine. Lovely weather, great food, good friends.. Things was just great.. Until this person starts talking happily about "My Girlfriend". BANG! Bullet through my heart. :'( Guess I'm still not used to hearing that phrase and knowing its not me. Why is life so complicated?

Know what I miss the most? Having those 'butterflies in my tummy' feelings. Odd isit? But that's what I miss. While waiting to meet up, or while waiting for a phone call.. Reading a sms, deciding what to wear.. Wondering where are we going, whats the plan for today.. All those with having that 'butterflies in my tummy' feeling. Haha.. Ok, ok.. I know. I'm weird.. *sigh* I do miss that.. But, whats done is done. Can't change anything.. No more 'butterflies in my tummy' for me anymore..

*sigh* Sooner or later I'd have to start back at square one.. Still afraid to take the risk coz sometimes I feel like giving up on believing in love. It doesn't seem as beautiful as it was before.. So for now, I guess I'll just have to go with the flow.. Taking baby steps..

I'm talking nonsensce again, am I? Bedtime. Nite.

Opera Mini :)

Living in the Senadin area means crappy online connection. It's like living in a cave. :S Just like today. Been trying to go online since 9am. No success til now. 5pm. Arghh! It's frustrating ok? With nothing to do the whole day. *sigh*

That's why I've been going on9 through my mobile. :) At first I just used the mobile web browser, but I find it difficult coz the screen doesn't fit. I have to scroll up and down, left to right to read something. That's when I remembered that my phone has the Opera Mini application. Yippee!



Opera Mini is a special kind of browser that delivers compressed Web pages from Opera's servers, and as a result, browsing is fast and data use is reduced to about 10% of what you would normally use. ( I don't know how the explain the function so I just copied this from http://my.opera.com/operamini/blog/ Hehe).

This is how the Start Page looks like. :)

I know my phone is no smart phone. *sigh* But still, having Opera Mini makes surfing the internet through mobile so easy.

K. Bye. :)

A short one ...

Just writing to say I'm feeling sad. Saw lots of my friends and old classmates in campus today. All attending the Graduation ceremony tomorrow. *sigh* I wanna be a part of that .. When I grad, there won't be many people that I know.

Owh btw, I've made a major decision. Bcoz I'm so tired of who I've become these last few months, I'm pushing myself to really let go... T.T

That's all. More updates on the Graduation ceremony tomorrow. Owh, I forget to mention. I will be attending too. But as a guest.

Tata for now.

Guilty as charged ...

Hello.

Just got back from Parkson. My feet are aching and my purse is lighter. But I had a great day. Watched Clash of the Titans and did some shopping. :)

But the good feelings ended when I got back. Now I'm feeling really, really guilty. Because in the midst of my happiness, I didn't realized that I've caused some one else to be sad. *sigh* Things were not the same as before and I should have thought but the piority first. I am not the piority now. I've forgotten. *sigh*

I guess next time I should thing about what others feel before I think of my own ... 10 hours of happiness, evaporated in 5 minutes ... Maybe I don't deserve to be happy. Right now all that I can think of is how could I have been so thoughtless? *sigh*

Anyway ... I forgot to mentioned. I've got my wish from Santa. I have a little white puppy now. But he is not fluffy.


Hi! My name is Ollie.

:)

Stupid, stupid, stupid ...

Stupid internet connection. My house has no internet connection. The Wireless provided is useless. Tried using Celcom Broadband, also useless. Thinking bout installing Streamyx. Can I? It's the uni's house. Hurm .. If no internet, how to do work? I feel as if I'm living in a cave. Grrr ..

These past few weeks felt like shit. I'm tired, I'm sad.
*sigh*
For the first time ever since entering my Uni, I felt homesick. Really, really, really homesick. And I'm gonna be 24 this year! Still homesick. I miss my Mummy ... :'(

Btw, I've changed my major. So long Finance. Good riddance. Should have gotten rid of you a long time ago. Now I'm doing Marketing & Management. So far, so good. But it's only Week 2.

Lately, my mind has been filled with What If questions ... Not a good thing.

And this song is the stupid song that made me cry.



I'm talking nonsense, I know ...
I'm sorry.
Next post will be better, I promise.

Hoping for more rains,

Go ahead and laugh

A drunk girl's attempt in sending a sms.

"Baby. Ne u pdh nag.lmk tmetj.k. Nak nak 4g megtrne u al tkktndat xda gkt blt ambkpe.kv.meda. I dunno wat.m sayrohm. I lv u. Truly."


Does that make any sense?

=.="

Lesson?
Dun drink and text.

*shaking head*

Love is in the air

It's February.

The Month of Love.

Go on and spread some love,


p.s: Sorry for a short post. Been having issues in my life and not in my writing mood. Will write more when I'm better.

30 Jan 2010

I am super bored. And super hungry. Din ate anything yesterday coz din had the appetite. Now I wanna eat, eat, eat. But it's no fun eating alone. In the end, I'll end up eating cereals with milk again. Poor me. Huhu.

Saturday!! And I have no plans. None at all. BooHoo.

Come, let's listen to one of my fave song.
(Used for cheering me up and chasing the boring-ness away)



Love this song. :)

Super bored,

Tick Tock Tick Tock

5am.

I'm still wide awake. Damn.

Been tossing and turning on my bed for like an hour. Then I gave up and went online instead, looking for accessories. I was hoping to get sleepy by 3 but *sigh* here I am still awake.

Supposed to be asleep. Haven't been feeling well today. So I had an early dinner, took 2 pills of Panadol and went to get comfy in bed with a nice book.

:S

And now, I'm craving for CHOCOLATES!!! Why do I always get weird cravings in around these kind of hours? *sobsob* This is so fattening. I NEED TO SLIM DOWN! Or else I won't fit into my new outfits. (Bet my sis will be so darn happy.)

Went to Citrus on Wednesday with Effa. While browsing through the menu, one of the dessert caught my eye. TOBLERONE FONDUE. Yum! Tried the Chocolate before, how come I din realize they have Toblerone? Huhu. I must go back there and have that dessert. Don't care if it's fattening. And I want a Funky Monkey too. I like bananas. Haha.

Ok. Dunno what else to write about. Just feeling so darn frustrated that I can't sleep. Huhu. I'll think of something better to write about some other time.

Wish me luck! I'm gonna try to get some sleep. :(

Good night. No, should be good morning.



P.S: My poor hair has split ends after I dyed it. Need to go and buy hair mask. *sobsob* More money flying away. :((

DumDumDiDaDum ...

I'm bored. There's nothing much for me to do. And it can be quite depressing to be in my situation right now. Waiting and waiting. *sigh*

Someone come and kidnap me quick!