Pillow Talks at 3am

9th of  November.

What the hell did I do?

Why the hell did I do it?

He came to my place yesterday around 12am, with his friend. Drunk and still ongoing with the drinking. Oh the noisy laughters of a drunk-head, and yet the infectious laughter that I love and missed. So, talked ( at least they did, I was busy laughing silently) til around 2am. Then his friend went to sleep. He was supposed to sleep as well, being super drunk and all. But he did not.

Ended up talking.

Ah me, the things he told me. The things he advises. The way he said it all.

With him it is always about Fate and Destiny.

Things could have been different between us, but here we are.

Having a comfortable close "brother-sister" relationship.

Fate. Destiny. Life.

Maybe he doesn't know or even realize, but its the little things he did that morning that keeps me smiling today. How he'd pinch my nose when I smile at stuffs he advised, or how he'd ruffle my hair when I agree on certain points of the conversation. The little smile he has when he looks at me. *slapself!*

And that morning, he whispered, "Find someone better. I'm sorry that I am not the one."

"I love you girl, but as a sister."

He never said that.

And he is saying all these when he is drunk.

People say, the words of a drunken are the ones they say from their heart.

I have to be grateful for what I have now.

Don't be selfish and wish for more.

Will listen to his advises, that he repeated over and over again.

But after he left that morning, I will not deny.

I cried. 

For the things that will never be.

*sigh*

Found this poem online.

It says exactly everything I felt.

But A Suppressed Sigh by Anju Addanki

 Nor are you my life.

Nor the air I breathe

Nor I say 'Without you-oh dear I can't live! 

For in such untrue words

My heart doesn't believe

Throughout the life for someone; 

No one ever grieves! 

If it's destiny

and you can't be mine

In your sorrow I won't die! 

Nor this heart

In grief will I tie

With time and wisdom, 

This passion will fly for you! 

No more like today, 

My tears for you will dry! 

Forgetting, this bitter phase

I'aspire for and high! 

No regrets

No complaints, 

My life will pass by! 

But then! There's something-- 

I shouldn't lie-- 

In silence of lone nights--

Life

Without you--

Will be-- 

But, a deeply SUPPRESSED SIGH! 

Exactly how I felt the whole day after our talk.

Gonna try to sleep now.

I am such a mess today.

Thank God for friends around me and the BBQ that helped distract me a bit.

And thank God for more distractions in the days to come.

xoxo

Tick Tock Tick Tock

5am.

I'm still wide awake. Damn.

Been tossing and turning on my bed for like an hour. Then I gave up and went online instead, looking for accessories. I was hoping to get sleepy by 3 but *sigh* here I am still awake.

Supposed to be asleep. Haven't been feeling well today. So I had an early dinner, took 2 pills of Panadol and went to get comfy in bed with a nice book.

:S

And now, I'm craving for CHOCOLATES!!! Why do I always get weird cravings in around these kind of hours? *sobsob* This is so fattening. I NEED TO SLIM DOWN! Or else I won't fit into my new outfits. (Bet my sis will be so darn happy.)

Went to Citrus on Wednesday with Effa. While browsing through the menu, one of the dessert caught my eye. TOBLERONE FONDUE. Yum! Tried the Chocolate before, how come I din realize they have Toblerone? Huhu. I must go back there and have that dessert. Don't care if it's fattening. And I want a Funky Monkey too. I like bananas. Haha.

Ok. Dunno what else to write about. Just feeling so darn frustrated that I can't sleep. Huhu. I'll think of something better to write about some other time.

Wish me luck! I'm gonna try to get some sleep. :(

Good night. No, should be good morning.



P.S: My poor hair has split ends after I dyed it. Need to go and buy hair mask. *sobsob* More money flying away. :((

(: unɟ ɹoɟ ʇsnɾ

˙oןןǝɥ

˙unɟ s,ʇı 'ןןıʇs ʇnq ¡ǝɯɐן ˙˙˙ ʍouʞ ı 'ʍouʞ ı ˙puǝıɹɟ ɐ ɯoɹɟ sıɥʇ ʇnoqɐ ʇno punoɟ ˙ǝɥǝɥ ¡uʍop ǝpısdn 'ƃuıƃƃoןq ɯ,ı 'pooɟ ɟɟo puıɯ ʎɯ ǝʞɐʇ oʇ 'os ): ˙ƃuıuǝʇʇɐɟ os ǝʞıן sı ʇɐɥʇ ˙ɯɐʎɐ uɐdɐןɐן sı ʍou ʇɥƃıɹ ɟo ʞuıɥʇ uɐɔ ı ןןɐ puɐ ˙ƃuıןqɯnɹ sı ʎɯɯnʇ ʎɯ ʎןsnoıɹǝs ˙ʎɹƃunɥ ooooooos ɯɐ ı puɐ ɯɐ 1 sı ʇı

Ok. Enough upside downs. My neck hurts trying to read what I wrote. Haha. Btw, my back hurts. And I have 3 fugly bruises on my left thigh. Thanks to the karaoke session I had with the cuzzies last nite. We had 1 bottle of Absolut Raspberry and 1 bottle of Absolut Peach. Me n 1 of my cousin planned to take home the empty bottles as a memoir. But darn! I blacked out last nite and she was too bz singing. So when we woke up this morning the both of us was like "Oh No! We forgot our bottles!" Haha. Can't blame me coz I have absolutely no idea what happen last nite after I passed out. Thank God Karl and Emen was there to carry me into the car. Hahaha! Lesson? If u wanna go out for drinks, make sure there are guys following. Just in case you need help walking back to the car. :)

Wait! Forgot to mention that before the karaoke session, we went for dinner at Soho and BARcelona. Food was great but I think I chose the wrong drink for dinner. Midori Martini. Figured that because there's Midori in it, maybe it would taste good (I'm a big fan of Midori). But, I was wrong. The Martini was horrible. Not my taste I guess. Owh, and guess what? The total bill for our dinner was ... *drum rolls* RM300++! I almost fainted. But luckily my cousin's friend footed the bill. :P Bak kata anung, "Ari tok, cukur bulu kaki orang jak keja kita!" Haha!

What else? Hurm .. Did I mention that I only sang 1 song last nite? After that it was nitey nite for me. *sigh* Sia sia jak aku pg karaoke..

I think that's all. I'm sleepy. Better go to bed to try to forget bout my Lalapan Ayam. Haha. Besides, I have to make up for the unhealthy sleep i had last nite. Right?

¡ooɥooʍ ˙ɥɔunן ʎɯ ɹoɟ ɯɐʎɐ uɐdɐןɐן nɐdɐʇ puɐ oƃ ɐuuoƃ ɯ,ı ʍoɹɹoɯoʇ ¡ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ǝʇıu ʎǝʇıu

(: dǝǝןs ǝʇıu pooƃ ɐ ɹoɟ ƃuıdoɥ


P.S: I just found out that 2 of my cats died. Chip and Venus, I'm so gonna miss u 2. Especially ChipChip. :'(

Can't sleep ...

I'm in a new room. Feels less homey .. Tomorrow I have to go and get some stuff to make it feel more homey. I should be sleeping now yet my eyes are so wide awake. And my heart is troubled.

Dis song tells what I'm feeling rite now.



Really like the part when she sings
"I'm fading fast & you`re the one I'm calling, I'm crying out cause baby do you, do you know? You're my heartbeat, you're my energy. Gotta come running
before its too late."

I Can't Sleep!!!

It's 1.56am. Here I am still wide awake. I can't sleep~!! And the worst thing is, I have a 8.30am class later on.

Aarrgghhh!!!!

Btw, went to Bintang Megamall after MOS tute. Went to check on LG's Cookie price. *sigh~ Still RM850. I'm like so in love with Cookie. But a bit frustrated coz there's no 3G. Is it worth buying? I'm still thinking whether I should buy it or not. Hurm ... To buy, or not to buy?

Owh, I've a funny tale to tell. My sis currently owns a LG Chocolate. But after she saw LG's Ice Cream, she wanted to trade in her old phone for it. So she went to my dad and told him, "Daddy, can I trade in my Chocolate for an Ice Cream?". And my dad was a bit confused. He was like, "Wah~ food also can trade in ka now?". Hahahaha. Turns out that he didn't know that LG's new phone was named Ice Cream. So imagine what he thought when I told him about buying Cookie... Hahaha.

OMG~!! It's 2.10am already~!! Darn. To a certain friend, if you're reading my blog, Boh heran mun aku nguap jak keja lam class lak. Hahaha.

I better try to ZzZzZz now. If not, for sure I'll have a hard time waking up later at 7. Sleeping Beauty bah .. Hehe.

Goodnite people. Opps! Wrong wrong wrong .. Goodmorning! ;P