Starts With Goodbye

I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Starts with goodbye,
The only way you try to find,
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
Na na na na na na na.

A short one ...

Just writing to say I'm feeling sad. Saw lots of my friends and old classmates in campus today. All attending the Graduation ceremony tomorrow. *sigh* I wanna be a part of that .. When I grad, there won't be many people that I know.

Owh btw, I've made a major decision. Bcoz I'm so tired of who I've become these last few months, I'm pushing myself to really let go... T.T

That's all. More updates on the Graduation ceremony tomorrow. Owh, I forget to mention. I will be attending too. But as a guest.

Tata for now.

Who am I?

*sigh*

I've been going on and on like this for almost 4 months now... It's tiring. I don't know who am I anymore. I feel so demotivated. Nothing is right anymore.

After THE TALK just now, I finally understand who I really am in dat someone's life. Who am I kidding? All those post of me saying I'm moving on, yeah right. As if throwing and erasing away 4 years is so damn easy. Every once in a while when I THINK that I'm doing well and moving on, one little gesture or word would bring me rushing back to the comfort of the 4 years I've known. Arghh!! Why is it so damn hard. I hate myself for being so stupid.

I AM NOT PERFECT.
I've told you from Day 1. Nobody is perfect. I have my own faults and flaws that I'm not proud of. Damn. If I were perfect, I would have been an angel instead of a human being. *sigh*

Dangling, dangling, dangling...
That's not good for a girl. Don't keep a girl dangling for long. It will ruin her self esteem. Open up your eyes and see ok? She's been through a lot and still she's here. Doesn't that says something? And when times are bad, she go through a lot to keep you interested. Little things like hair cuts, new scents, new dressing ... Yet, nothing. Self-esteem? Down to the drain.

See, see, see! This is what I mean. Who is this? Since when have I become this ... this selfish green-eye freak?!

"If you love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

Used to LOVE that quote back in High School. But now when I think of it, what if they return and you're with someone new? So does that mean that we should wait for them to return? How long should we wait? Til we die??? Is it worth the wait???
Yes I know, I think too much. *sigh*

I AM LETTING YOU GO NOW.
I understand now. It's better for the both of us. Look at the freak I've become. I can never trust you fully anymore. Always, always living in fear wondering whether you're telling the truth or just lying straight to my face?

Things used to be so beautiful. But you said, the past is the past. We can never go back and relive the past. *sigh*
Where did I go wrong?
WHAT did I do wrong?



Just a random song that's screaming through my head right now.
Arghhh!!! WHADDAYA WANT FROM ME?
Stupid stupid stupid tears. Go away. Stop falling from my tired eyes.
Go and bully some one else. I'm sick and tired of being weak. I'm sick and tired of pretending that I'm some kind of Superwomen that can do anything. Well, Superwomen also have needs and wants ok? Superwomen also have feelings. Superwomen also needs some pampering. And once in awhile, Superwomen needs to be saved too.

Enough nonsense ranting for one night. Bye. I'm off to my fairytale again where everything is picture perfect and there's not a single worry at all.

Mein Honigbienchen
For better or worse, I got you.
I won't forget.

p/s: This post may sound angry. But I'm actually crying. Never mind.. The sun will come out tomorrow ...

Let It Be ... ...

Mein Honigbienchen,

Things have been tough for you these couple of weeks. I can understand what you are going through. Don't forget, I've been through that to, maybe worse, but the past is the past. I don't want to point faults at anyone. I guess some of your current problems were caused by me too. I'm sorry that I have not been more supportive. I'm sorry that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass. But I am learning to be better. And a person does not change overnight. Thank you for opening my eyes.

And now, I can only hope that you will be strong Honigbienchen. I've known you for almost 5 years now and in these few months, I see you're not being yourself. You've somehow have more patience. You've learn to compromise. You've admit mistakes even when it is not your fault. You've somehow became someone else ... And I can see that it's tiring you. Move on mein honigbienchen. Like what you've said, enough is enough ... You'll be fine soon. It will be hard but slowly you'll heal. If you need a friend to talk to, do know that I'm always here for you. Don't keep all your problems to yourself..

Move on honigbienchen. Maybe she doesn't love you enough to hear your explanation and admit her mistakes. You've done your part. I'm sorry that it did not work out as you've hoped. But you'll find someone better one day. Just be wiser this time and don't fall so fast. Stop and listen to your heart once in awhile. For sometimes, they whisper.

I better go now. By the way, this song is for you.

Remember,
"And when you need a place to run to, For better or worse, I got you."

Guilty as charged ...

Hello.

Just got back from Parkson. My feet are aching and my purse is lighter. But I had a great day. Watched Clash of the Titans and did some shopping. :)

But the good feelings ended when I got back. Now I'm feeling really, really guilty. Because in the midst of my happiness, I didn't realized that I've caused some one else to be sad. *sigh* Things were not the same as before and I should have thought but the piority first. I am not the piority now. I've forgotten. *sigh*

I guess next time I should thing about what others feel before I think of my own ... 10 hours of happiness, evaporated in 5 minutes ... Maybe I don't deserve to be happy. Right now all that I can think of is how could I have been so thoughtless? *sigh*

Anyway ... I forgot to mentioned. I've got my wish from Santa. I have a little white puppy now. But he is not fluffy.


Hi! My name is Ollie.

:)