*sigh*
I've been going on and on like this for almost 4 months now... It's tiring. I don't know who am I anymore. I feel so demotivated. Nothing is right anymore.
After THE TALK just now, I finally understand who I really am in dat someone's life. Who am I kidding? All those post of me saying I'm moving on, yeah right. As if throwing and erasing away 4 years is so damn easy. Every once in a while when I THINK that I'm doing well and moving on, one little gesture or word would bring me rushing back to the comfort of the 4 years I've known. Arghh!! Why is it so damn hard. I hate myself for being so stupid.
I AM NOT PERFECT.
I've told you from Day 1. Nobody is perfect. I have my own faults and flaws that I'm not proud of. Damn. If I were perfect, I would have been an angel instead of a human being. *sigh*
Dangling, dangling, dangling...
That's not good for a girl. Don't keep a girl dangling for long. It will ruin her self esteem. Open up your eyes and see ok? She's been through a lot and still she's here. Doesn't that says something? And when times are bad, she go through a lot to keep you interested. Little things like hair cuts, new scents, new dressing ... Yet, nothing. Self-esteem? Down to the drain.
See, see, see! This is what I mean. Who is this? Since when have I become this ... this selfish green-eye freak?!
"If you love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."
Used to LOVE that quote back in High School. But now when I think of it, what if they return and you're with someone new? So does that mean that we should wait for them to return? How long should we wait? Til we die??? Is it worth the wait???
Yes I know, I think too much. *sigh*
I AM LETTING YOU GO NOW.
I understand now. It's better for the both of us. Look at the freak I've become. I can never trust you fully anymore. Always, always living in fear wondering whether you're telling the truth or just lying straight to my face?
Things used to be so beautiful. But you said, the past is the past. We can never go back and relive the past. *sigh*
Where did I go wrong?
WHAT did I do wrong?
Just a random song that's screaming through my head right now.
Arghhh!!! WHADDAYA WANT FROM ME?
Stupid stupid stupid tears. Go away. Stop falling from my tired eyes.
Go and bully some one else. I'm sick and tired of being weak. I'm sick and tired of pretending that I'm some kind of Superwomen that can do anything. Well, Superwomen also have needs and wants ok? Superwomen also have feelings. Superwomen also needs some pampering. And once in awhile, Superwomen needs to be saved too.
Enough nonsense ranting for one night. Bye. I'm off to my fairytale again where everything is picture perfect and there's not a single worry at all.
Mein Honigbienchen
For better or worse, I got you.
I won't forget.
I've been going on and on like this for almost 4 months now... It's tiring. I don't know who am I anymore. I feel so demotivated. Nothing is right anymore.
After THE TALK just now, I finally understand who I really am in dat someone's life. Who am I kidding? All those post of me saying I'm moving on, yeah right. As if throwing and erasing away 4 years is so damn easy. Every once in a while when I THINK that I'm doing well and moving on, one little gesture or word would bring me rushing back to the comfort of the 4 years I've known. Arghh!! Why is it so damn hard. I hate myself for being so stupid.
I AM NOT PERFECT.
I've told you from Day 1. Nobody is perfect. I have my own faults and flaws that I'm not proud of. Damn. If I were perfect, I would have been an angel instead of a human being. *sigh*
Dangling, dangling, dangling...
That's not good for a girl. Don't keep a girl dangling for long. It will ruin her self esteem. Open up your eyes and see ok? She's been through a lot and still she's here. Doesn't that says something? And when times are bad, she go through a lot to keep you interested. Little things like hair cuts, new scents, new dressing ... Yet, nothing. Self-esteem? Down to the drain.
See, see, see! This is what I mean. Who is this? Since when have I become this ... this selfish green-eye freak?!
"If you love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."
Used to LOVE that quote back in High School. But now when I think of it, what if they return and you're with someone new? So does that mean that we should wait for them to return? How long should we wait? Til we die??? Is it worth the wait???
Yes I know, I think too much. *sigh*
I AM LETTING YOU GO NOW.
I understand now. It's better for the both of us. Look at the freak I've become. I can never trust you fully anymore. Always, always living in fear wondering whether you're telling the truth or just lying straight to my face?
Things used to be so beautiful. But you said, the past is the past. We can never go back and relive the past. *sigh*
Where did I go wrong?
WHAT did I do wrong?
Just a random song that's screaming through my head right now.
Arghhh!!! WHADDAYA WANT FROM ME?
Stupid stupid stupid tears. Go away. Stop falling from my tired eyes.
Go and bully some one else. I'm sick and tired of being weak. I'm sick and tired of pretending that I'm some kind of Superwomen that can do anything. Well, Superwomen also have needs and wants ok? Superwomen also have feelings. Superwomen also needs some pampering. And once in awhile, Superwomen needs to be saved too.
Enough nonsense ranting for one night. Bye. I'm off to my fairytale again where everything is picture perfect and there's not a single worry at all.
Mein Honigbienchen
For better or worse, I got you.
I won't forget.
p/s: This post may sound angry. But I'm actually crying. Never mind.. The sun will come out tomorrow ...
0 comments:
Post a Comment