Friday, July 15, 2011
This and That. Here and There.
Posted by babymidori12 at 10:35 PM 0 comments
Friday, June 3, 2011
Moments of Insecurities...
I am supposed to be revising for my finals. But lately, a lot has happened. Knowing me, I can't pay full attention until I let off some of the load I'm feeling. Where else can I do that except here? ;)
Are you happy being single? Some one asked me that question few days ago. I happily told that person, Yes. Comparing me to the person I was last year and the year before, I am so much more happy. Some friends tell me to take my time to heal before venturing into the world of relationships again. Others would tell me be brave and just try again. But hey, I'll just smile and say, "We'll see".
The truth is, this heart of mine is still afraid. Bcoz from what I've been through, everytime I fall for someone, it would either not work out or I would end up being hurt real bad.
So for now, whenever some one asks me, I'll just smile.
Moving on to something else that is completely has no link to what I've talking about earlier.... Tonight I'll be praying extra hard for strength. There's something I have to do tomorrow that I dread. I am afraid but I know I have to do it.
Ok, back to studying. I can't wait for Monday to come. Not because I'm super clever and can't wait to sit for my paper. But because I'll be meeting one of my reason that made me smile throughout this semester.
xoxoxo
Posted by babymidori12 at 3:27 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
I miss....
Hello there poppets!! ;)
Dunno why but that phrase just popped up. So random.
Lately I've been in a lovey-dovey mood. Went to sleep at night listening to songs like Jason Derulo's What If. Maybe its because of all these wedding invitation that I have been receiving. Up till today, I've received 7 wedding invitation and also 2 engagement invitations. So, lovey-dovey mood kicking in...
I'm not saying that I desperately wanna be in a relationship. No, I'm happy now. Enjoying my life with the new circle of gfs and thr environment they bring. But sometimes at night, I kinda miss some things that only being in a relationship can provide.
I kinda miss playing around with sum1, being just the silly me and giggling to whatever silly jokes that only we get.
I miss feeling so small and vulnerable in the arms of sum1 that loves me. I miss the cosy, protected feelings.
I miss the quietness and content feeling when i'm with sum1.
Yes, yes, I know I'm a dreamer. But hey, thats just me. ;)
I miss a lot of things, but I'm not in a rush. When the time is right, I guess I will feel all those again. With the right person. Til then, I'll just smile and enjoy each and every passing day to the fullest.
;)
Posted by babymidori12 at 7:34 PM 0 comments
Monday, May 16, 2011
Don't.
Dear tears, don't visit me tonight k?
I received a missed call from ***** just now. I dunno what she wants. Texted XX to tell about d miss call that I received. Now feeling a bit sad.. I am moving on, being happy without XX in my life anymore. I don't need ***** to pop in and remind me how happy she is with XX. Thanks, but no thanks...
Although this sem has been hectic to the point if me getting sick from all the workload, I'm grateful. I'm grateful to have new friends around me. I'm grateful for the new environment that my Heavenly Father has placed me in. I will learn to be strong and believe one day my heart will learn to completely forgive and won't be afraid to start all over again. I place my heart unto the hands that I trust the most and the one that I know will never desert me.
Just a while ago, I was listening to Avril's song tittled Goodbye Lullaby. Can't help feeling sad. Perhaps that will be my lullaby for tonight.
Off to bed. Early right tonight? I'll wake up early tomorrow and continue my last assignment for this sem. Time really does fly by right? Been acknowledging to myself that I am officially single for 9 months now, even though I know it has been more. I will be strong and forget the past.
I'll blog again soon with happy events. Nites.
xoxo
Posted by babymidori12 at 10:21 PM 0 comments
Labels: sad
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Hopeless...
In reality it would be hopeless in ever meeting you again.
So can we meet up in my dreams?
My dreamland would also become my fantasyland.
A place to forget the harsh reality.
So, let's go.
I'll wait.
Posted by babymidori12 at 2:24 AM 0 comments
Labels: blablabla's, dreams
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Early morning!
6.30 in the morning and I'm at the beach. The sound of waves crashing on the shores are the most soothing sounds for me. It always have been. I love the beach. Why are people wasting their time sleeping when they can be strolling?
From where I'm sitting, I can see the jetty. Haven't been there for quite a while. But I guess, I don't really wanna go there... The memories, ah! Go away! :(
Last night was horrible. Simply horrible. I was really looking forward to this. But last night, I locked myself in the bathroom, quietly crying my heart out. Plain torture ok? I know I've said I moved on. But as strong and patient as I seem, I don't have enough strength to just sit there and watch someone I used to love being lovey-dovey with someone else. Pure torture okay?
Ok, I hear questions asked in why am I torturing myself like this. FYI, it was supposed to be us friends only. But then, ***** couldn't trust XX and so tagged along. Fine, I told myself I will be okay. I'll just talked to my other friends, XX's cousin. But then, she bailed. Said she was too tired to join us. Argh!! So it was only the 3 of us left. Damn. If I knew my other friend would bail, I would rather not come along. Eventhough I haven't seen XX for almost a month now, I'd rather not meet XX at all then torture myself...
But I guess I just have to suck it up and deal with it. Going to jump into the pool later and just ignore ***** for the whole day. She's caused me so many pain. So I don't think I owe her anything. K gtg. Sandflies are killing me.
Gtg and put on my smiling face again. :)
xoxo
Posted by babymidori12 at 6:53 AM 0 comments
Labels: scribbles
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Updates Updates Updates
How long has it been? Time really do fly by. April is coming to an end soon. Can't believe this. *sigh*
So..... What's new? Nothing much actually. Still have tonnes of assignments to do but I'm so lazy. I've recovered from my fever+flu+cough. Hm.. What else?
Been around with a new group of friends now. God really is answering my prayer.. :)
Once in a while when I let myself drift back towards my past, I feel all the heartache and longings rush back to me, full blast. I know I shouldn't be doing this but, I dunno. I'm still a fool I guess. Thats why I am really greatful for this bunch of new friends around me. A change of scenery I guess. At least being with them doesn't always reminds me of the past.
Ok. I better go now. Wanna watch a movie. Need to pay attention. :)
xoxo
Posted by babymidori12 at 12:52 AM 0 comments
Labels: scribbles
Monday, April 18, 2011
It's Monday again...
...but baby I don't care. Coz when I'm with you, everything feels alright.
Yeah... Its lyrics from a song. Lame, I know.. But for this semester, I love Mondays. Hehehe. No, I'm not gonna tell why.
2 in the morning, almost 3. Why am I still up? ASSIGNMENT!!! Been forcing myself to get it done but sadly, I just can't. Why oh why am I like this?? *sigh* And I just found out a while ago that I have not 2, but 3 presentation on the week after my free week. Demm!!! So my free week won't be so free. (¡_¡) *stress*
Ok bye. Gonna go and force myself to do the assgnment. Grrr!!
xoxo
Posted by babymidori12 at 2:30 AM 0 comments
Labels: blablabla's
Monday, April 11, 2011
Hello, Hello
Yes, yes I know that I am supposed to be sleeping. Ish. But I just took a shower and so now I am feeling a bit refreshed. So while I'm waiting for sleep to come knocking, might as well blab a bit in my blog, eventhough no one is reading. Hahaha.
Weekend was plain boring.. Saturday I had mid terms for Accounting Managerial (which was really confusing), so I spent most of the days before that doing revisions. Then after the accounting mid terms, I have to prepare myself to yet another test, which is for my System Analysis & Design unit. The test would be on Wednesday, 13th. Days before Weds would be pretty busy because I still have to make sure that me n my group members are completely our task for the SAD assignment just like what we've outlined in the Work Plan. I do not wanna leave things till the last minutes again 'coz this assignment really has a lot of things to be done. And I know that I will have like 3 presentations due around the same time this SAD assignment is due. :S Ow, and after my Test 1 on Wednesday, gotta finish up my 2000 word critical essay. Fun right?
This semester really seems a bit boring. But times do fly by so fast! Maybe its because of the increasing workloads. Heck! I spent more time in the library now, studying and doing tutorials! I'm such a nerd... Even on weekends I am nerding in my room.. *sobsob*
But enough talking 'bout nerds. While I was taking a break just now, I did some readings. Then suddenly an incident from High School came to mind. Hahaha. Since I have nothing much to write, allow me to blab about this. :)
It was in the year 2002, I was in Form 4. :) Me and my friends were quite close to our English/P.Moral teacher, Mr.Andee Yeo. Now, one day after our Moral class, Mr. Andee told me to come and look for him during recess. So I said, ok without giving it much thoughts. But when recess came, I totally forgot 'bout having to go and meet him. There was something going on, I don't really remember what, but it made me sad. So there I was, feeling sorry for myself on the balcony when looking down, there was Mr.Andee, looking up at me.
"I thought I told you to come and look for me during recess?"
Hahaha. Told him I was sorry but I totally forgot. So down I went to meet him. And guess what was the reason he asked me to meet him? With a serious face, he started to tell he that when he was a student, his English teacher took him aside and gave him a book. His teacher had said that it was a tradition that was being passed on, a teacher giving his/her student a book. And so, Mr.Andee told me that he would like to pass on the tradition by giving me a book. He said that I would be the suitable student because #### (I'm too shy to say it here) and thats why he's chosen me. I was really2 touched. When I've said ny thanks and went back to my classroom, I was too stunned to begin telling my friends why Mr.Andee asked to look for him.
The book that he gave was 'Piercing The Darkness' by Frank E. Peretti. It was a good book. And I really treasure it. But thinking of what this teacher of mine had told me, I felt sad. Looks like I won't be able to pass on the tradition..
I've tried asking for TESL, twice. I love English. And it has always been my dream to share my passion for English Literature to young minds one day. But sadly, applied twice but didnt receive any response from neither of my application. So here I am, stuck doing something thats not my passion.
Read that book twice, and if only that book is here with me now, I would love to read it again. :)
Ok enough. Ohemgee, look at the time! Better sleep. Early class later on. Back to the nerdy life in campus. (¡_¡)
xoxoxo
Posted by babymidori12 at 12:17 AM 0 comments
Monday, April 4, 2011
Tears are words your heart cannot express...
Hush, hush.. I'm crying again..
I can't write why 'coz the reason may seem so absurd to some. Even I still find it hard to believe. But it really makes me sad.. The last time I cried so hard like dis was back in Dec 2010..
I wanna leave Miri, can?
Posted by babymidori12 at 11:37 PM 0 comments
Labels: sad
