Listening

Distant rumbling of thunders can be heard. It's gonna rain soon.. 

Rain. 

The one weather that provokes so many different type of emotions in me. I love the rain. The sound of it falling brings me comfort and the sense of security. And yet, there are times when the sound of raindrops brings the sense of loneliness and sadness as well.

The turmoil I am going through now, I try so hard to hide it away. 

Why is it so when I've finally found a person that has almost everything that I have been searching for in a guy, and yet to just finally end up as just friends? To feel so comfortable with a person in such a short period that you dare to think that there might be more. Where is the fairness in this? Knowing me, I'm not the type that gets comfortable with new people so fast, let alone a guy. So where is the fairness in all of this???

 I've slowly adjusted myself to look at him in a new perspective. Since he sees me as a sister, it's fair that I too sees him not more then a brother. Right? Slowly, the term 哥 seems to be more fitting for him than anything else. And to hear him call me Girl so naturally as if we've known each other forever, some how puts a smile on my face. Silly huh?

But then there are times when I allow my brain to wander and think about all this matters, I'd feel those prickling sensation in my eyes. To not feel a tad bit of sadness and unfairness, I would be lying. But I have not yet allowed myself to cry over this. No, I will not cry. :)

And so every time I get sad and every night (or morning) before I sleep, I'll ensure myself that God must have better plans to just place both of us as friends. I will keep my faith in Him and believe that He knows what's best for me, and also for him.

So until then, I should live life happily and also gratefully. No?

"I'm tired of fighting. I want to be fought for. I'm tired of caring. I want to be cared for. I'm tired of being just me. I want to be yours." #TheNoteboook

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"Listen with your heart, you will understand"

But now the only sounds I can hear are the sounds of raindrops falling.

And for tonight, those sounds are soothing sounds to be made into my lullaby as I drift of to sleep later.

So until the next post,

xoxoxo