Life.Choices.Decisions.

It started out with a simple question, felt at that moment of time.

"Why is life not fair sometimes?"

And from there on, the advises starts pouring in. And with those advises, the long held back tears started to fall. But luckily it didn't last for long. This time, there's a certain someone that made me laugh even though the tears were still falling.

Here's yet another person that says I am a strong girl. When the fact is, I don't think I am. Well, maybe sometimes I can be. But to always be strong, it's so tiring. Maybe it is my fault for always putting on a smiling brave face for the world to see whenever facing problems but when I am alone safe and sound in my room I would cry my heart out. And yet, what else can I do? Sure, my tears may fall easily. Especially when I am watching a sad movie. But that's it, tears that are evoked from the sad life of others. Real tears that are evoked from my own emotions, very few people has been given the opportunity to see them. Not even my parents. I hide them away. And thus, the high expectation of people that I must always be strong. Especially in times like this. Hence, the issue of life being not fair arises. 

And so, after much thinking on the advises that I have received from two people....I can put it this way.

Yes, life may seem unfair sometimes. These "sometimes" are usually the times where you would let your mind wander off and think of the nonsenses that happened around you. If you were to close your eyes and focus on appreciating the little things that you have now and that is happening around you, you won't feel that life is unfair. And that is what I should do. Appreciate the little things happening that makes me happy, don't think of the what could have been and have faith that God is going to handle the big perfect picture with all the little things that I appreciate...

On people's expectation on me, well...as that someone told me... People may place high expectation on us sometimes and maybe for now we will not be able to live up to their expectations. But it's okay. As time passes and we grow up, we will soon be able to fill those expectations. Go through each day with God in our heart, and things will be okay. Life is about acting too sometimes,to please the people around us when they expect too much from us. But from that, we will soon be able to learn a lot and in time build up our personality. 

On issues of searching for the answers for the questions I have in life, people would always tell me the same thing, "Time will tell". To me, "Time is nothing", and yet this person says that "Time is everything". Allow me to point out something for you all to ponder on. Time is Nothing when you are happy with what you have in life and appreciate all the little miracles around you. But when you are expecting for something more from life, that is when you will see that Time is actually Everything. Am I right or am I wrong?  So, which part of life are you in now? Maybe in between?

Life can be ironic sometimes. To have found that person. To be so close and yet so far. To be so comfortable with him. To only remain friends and as each day passes by, realize that that is all he is and meant to be. To be sad about how things ended up to be and yet in the same time to have him add more laughters in your life. To feel that you have known him for a lifetime even though its has only been a month. To have him give you advises on things that you once hoped from him. But most importantly, to have him give you hope and encourage you more to be excited and not be afraid of the future. Yes, life can be ironic sometimes. And yet maybe, this is a blessing in disguise.

And so as I head off to bed after this, I would hope that I am somewhat a bit wiser and somehow a bit more courageous to face the future.


Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Each and everyone of you.
For making my life seem more beautiful.
I love each and everyone of you.
With all my heart and soul.
Sincerely I do.


xoxoxo