31/08/12

HAPPY 55TH MERDEKA DAY MALAYSIA!

And because it's our National Day (and holiday), me and the cousins decided to go and do another photo shoot session. Just for fun. 

The theme for this session was supposed to be Casual vs. Free Spirit.

But along the way, we got lazy.

And we were not really prepared for this round of photo takings.

But anyways, managed to snapped some decent photos.

So, here's some of the snaps taken.

And that last picture was taken without my brother's knowledge.

He only tagged along coz he wanted to go for a jog.

So, that's all that we managed to snap. 

Well, there is more but I don't think anyone would be interested to view all of our snaps.

And this final photo for this post is a photo of Yours Truly, bitten by mosquitoes.

Raw and Unedited.

Until next time!

xoxoxo

4 months

My paths are never easy.

But he makes facing all the challenges bearable.

Thank you Heavenly Father.

Happy Monthsary love.

:)

xoxoxo

Extract from the heart and mind

Hello poppets.

It's been awhile.

Things has been a bit challenging for me in these few months. The people around me may not notice but I've been struggling. Struggling to keep my sanity and to remain as patient as ever... 

After mass today, I met up with some of my babes for Raya Visiting then just a short catch up session with them at Beach Republic. Coming back from this session made me realize how much I really miss them and how much left out I am from their lifes as I listen to their chit-chats. It made me a bit teary as I drove back, made me miscalculated the angle of the car and almost denting it on the gate. My bad, and my first mistake since driving that White Tiger.

I've been keeping this to myself because if I were to voice it out loud, I would be deemed as rude and ungrateful. And believe me when I say that I am ever so grateful. It's just I find it unfair sometimes...

So for the past few months, I've been staying with my relative. I enjoy being with my cousins, they bring out a part of me that makes me miss my sister lesser than usual. And yes, when you're staying with your relatives for free, the only way you can pay them back is to help around the house. This too I don't really mind because as the eldest child and also being a girl, it has always been part of my responsibility at home. So, day by day I'd do my part quietly while the lists of tasks starts to grow. Still I keep quiet and just do my part. Even if I slept late the night before, I'd make sure to force myself to wake up early and start on the list of tasks. If not then I would feel guilty. The earlier I start then the earlier I'd finish and the earlier I can do stuff on my own. I keep quiet and do all this because I wouldn't want to give my parents any reasons to worry or think that I am ungrateful..

And another thing. Staying with your relatives, means you have to respect their lifestyle and also their set of rules. Which means less going out and being stuck at home. I know this is because they worry for our safety and all. Everything and every decision made, there are sure to be reasons for them. 

But.. here comes the part I find hard. And difficult to explain because they never ask me.

I'm sorry for going out at nights and making them worry about whether I'd reach home safe and sound. But I am sorry too because I won't stop from going out at night, even if its only 1-2 times a week. Why? I gave up most of my time to go out and be with my babes. And I know most of them has already given up on asking me out for lunch or dinner or just to chill... Because every time they ask, my same reasons and excuses are starting to sound lame. So yeah, I'm cut off from most of my babes' life and activities. But sorry, please don't cut me off from him. It's already unbearable to be only meeting him 1-2 times a week and only getting to spend 2-3 hours together. 

Him, working 12 hours a day, 7am-7pm. EVERYDAY. I know how tiring it is for him, and to have him drive all the way out here to pick me up just so we can spend 2-3 hours together. It makes me wanna cry sometimes. And I am always missing him. So I'm sorry but I will continue to make them worry, just so I can get my 2-3 hours with him once or twice a week...

And don't even get me started on his off days. That, that occurs only once in a blue moon. So, I'm sorry again. I will take that chance to spend every hour possible with him. But don't worry. Everytime before going out with him, I always make sure that I've done my duty. Every task expected from me to be done at home, done. So that when I go out, I won't feel guilty of not completing my part. 

I'll be 26 this year. I know it is hard for them to adjust themselves to that fact. We children will always be little kids in their eyes. But I just wish they won't worry too much and have more faith. I know I may look blurry and innocent at times, too much that it is possible to be bullied. But hey, I've been through so much more than they will ever know. Yes I'll still make mistakes once in a while, but I need space to breathe. 

The fact that we always have to be stuck at home and not really alowed to go out at night eventhough we did our part in te housechores was the main reasons most of my other cousins ran away from staying here. Don't worry. I still have lots of patient and perserverance. I can take anything. Any command, any task. I can do it dutifully and quietly. Just let me have my moments with him.

I'm losing my babes, bit by bit. I can't lose him as well.
So, I am really and truly sorry.
I know how much they have done for me. The magnitude of deeds that they've done to help me, I don't know how much I can pay back. For that, I am grateful and continue to do my tasks at home quietly.
It's okay. Thinking positively, this will be a part of training to settle down in my own home with my own family one day in the future.
But that part of going out at night with him, I will continue being stubborn.

Trying hard to not withdraw back into my shell of silence.
Let's continue smiling shall we? 

What is Love?

Love is a slow kiss goodnight, it's anticipation.
Love is flirting ourtageously and still remembering that the person at your side is not obligated to do anything, it's respect.
Love is an imperfection in your self not bothering you, it's acceptance.
Love is passing up an opportunity because the time isn't right yet, it's patience.
Love is a back massage that starts above the hairline and ends around the insoles, it's exploration.
Love does not have to say, "lets make love," because you know what the other person wants, it understanding.
Love is being given an honest chance to say no when you thought you were committed, it's consideration.
Love is both of you remembering protection, it's responsibility.
Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles, it's humor.
Love is being told "stop and I'll kill you." It's desire.
Love is reviewing the damge to your living room and realizing personal effects are strewn in a clockwise pattern from the front door the to bedroom, it's abandonment.
Love is seeing what your love really looks like for the first time, it's truth.
Love is knowing what time it is and not caring, it's joy.
Love is the arms around you tightening their embrace, it's ecstasy.
Love is seeing a new side of a person you thought you knew, it's renewal.
Love is telling a person if you have to leave, you will let them sleep, and being told they would rather be woken, it's tenderness.
Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder, it's where fantasy meets reality.
Love is being there to wake your lover slowly, it's sensuousness.
Love belatedly knows why you bothered to buy a queen-sized bed three years ago, it's practicality.
Love is two people only taking up a third of a queen-sized bed, it's closeness.
Love knows you gave the extra set of keys to your apartment to the right person, it's trust.
Love is saying good-bye and knowing you will be back by mutual consent, it's faith.
Love is stretching your arms and discovering the real meaning of the word "sore" it's a lesson in human frailty.
Love is opening your medicine cabinet finding your tube of toothpaste turned into a prezel, it's adaptation.
Love is sitting at the window, looking out and remembering who you were with the night before, it's reflection.
Love is hearing the weather forecast for a winter storm and wishing you could spend it in bed with your lover, it's loneliness.
Love is stories that will never be told, it's personal.


Found this online at some website. I kind of like some parts of it.

xoxoxo

Secret pastime activity revealed :)

Hello lovelies!

I kept putting off blogging, even though there are lots of happy things to be shared. I find myself too lazy or even tired sometimes. Tired from what? I dunno. Hahaha.

Anyway, referring to the title of this post. 

Secret pastime activity revealed

Well, its actually not really a secret. Coz we've let some of the product to be leaked through the internet, most especially through Facebook. 

My cousins and I (and also my siblings when they are around), we like to take pictures. Yeah, sounds normal. Everyone take pictures as well. So what? Right? Well, we don't care! 

Been doing this for a few years. At first we would just randomly cycle to the beach and take pictures using our hand-phones and stuff, trying to work out different angles that might turn up nice in the pictures. Just normal pastimes for us. Heck, there was even one time when it started to rain when we were doing our own stuff at home, when we realized it would be nice if we could capture a picture with raindrops falling in it. So tried we did. That's how random we were. 

Recently, we've upgraded. Well, only slightly. 

And we did another amateur photo shoot for ourselves. 

The theme was Fairy vs. Street-wear.

But I think for my part, I was going more to the lost doll thing.

We were our own wardrobe coordinator, make up artist, model, photographer and all. 

Wanna see the results?

(I don't care if you said no, I'm gonna post it anyway)

Ok, that's only some of the pictures from our little amateur photo shoot.

We're still working out on our skills, whether on the poses, facial expressionism and also photography skills. For me, this is just another pastime activity. Doing something that is fun and something that I like. Not so sure but the other two cousins. Maybe they will take it further. We shall see. 

Last picture!

The three of us, calling it a wrap.

We're now thinking of our next location. 

:)

xoxoxo

♥♥♥

Been searching for this song for quite sometime. Til I actually gave up last year. Haha. I love the melody and also the lyrics. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Black Cherry"

How can it be? I can taste you now

How can I see when you're everything?

All my world in one grain of sand

And I've blown it

All my world in one grain of sand

And you own it

Black cherry, black cherry, stone

Black cherry, black cherry

Hearing you say it, I could die

Trembling star, just reminds me

All my world in one grain of sand

And I've blown it

All my world in one grain of sand

And you own it

Black cherry, black cherry, stone

Black cherry, black cherry

Excite me, ignite me

Oh and you know

I miss you, I kiss you

Oh and you know

Black cherry, black cherry, stone

Black cherry, black cherry

Excite me, ignite me

Oh and you know

I miss you, I kiss you

Oh and you know

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I miss you

xoxoxo

Read!

While cleaning up my notes and stuff yesterday, I found a collection of quotes that I wrote down. I am a quote freak. I love quotes. 

This one particular quote us a bit long. Bear with it for moment. Read through. The meaning made me smile. And the whole time I read through this quote yesterday, only one oerson stayed in my mind. 

"Once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals which were never achieved and many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitment. They are not embaressed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they want to hurt your feelings or make you feel like you were not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only the quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seemed insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood comes back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughters seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face. In their pressence there is no need for continous conversation, but you would find you're quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before becomes fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is special to you. You think of this person in every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart, knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you have never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life." -Bob Marley

So who comes to your mind when you read through this?

;)

Take care loves.

xoxoxo

Burden off my chest

Missing ♥ tonight. Kinda hard to adjust back after having him with me for 7 nights in a row. Last night was the best. Pillow talks, telling each other more about ourselves and finally having the courage to open up about our own dark past.

I was surprised of his past. Yes I know no one is perfect. Heck, I've said that a few times before, stressing that I am not perfect. I listen, I understand, then I let go. Why should I hold on to his stories of his past? His past shaped his character today, all the lesson learnt to bring out a better person. I don't really care about his past. It's a future with him that I care about. Focus on today to create a better future together, yes? :)

Even my past has not been all rainbows and butterflies. There were things that I've hidden from my new circle of friends. Only those that I feel close and worthy knows about my past. And he deserves to know all of me, then he can decide whether he can accept me for who I am. That's why I finally had the courage to open up about my past. I know he was a bit shocked. But I can see that he tried to accept it.

Tell me, have you ever just suddenly realized how much in love you are with one person? And to wonder how is it even possible to fall even more in love as each day passes. If all the heartache and pain I've been through for the past few years were meant to lead me to this person, I have no regrets. In fact, I will do it all over again and not change a thing. Just as long as in the end, I get to meet, know, like and love this guy. Thank you Heavenly Father, for answering my prayer. Could You go even further to give us courage to face any obstacles that You would place before us as tests.

I love this guy. He really is different. Being with him, I dont have to always be conversing. Just having him near me with the silence hanging around us, makes me feel safe. Just because he is near me.

Can't wait to see what the future has in stored for us.
Just like the lyrics from my all time fave song (and a must wedding song!) At The Beginning by Donna Lewis & Richard Marx.

"We were strangers, on a crazy adventure. Never dreaming how our dreams would come true."

Off to bed. Yes I know its a bit early for me. But then I didn't had enough sleep (coz I rather be awake talking to him) and woke up early to pack and clean up my room and stuffs. I am now currently at my aunt's place, job hunting. Bit far from that some one but thanking the Lord that we are actually still within driving distance.

So, good night now poppets.

xoxoxo

Word!

Remember I wrote earlier on that one of my close friend gave me advises on which was the better decision? It goes something like this quote I found online. From the book, He's Just Not That Into You.

"I'm about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word "busy" is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a man who didn't care enough to call. Remember, men are never too busy to get what they want." 

- Greg Behrenht

So now you know why.

Bye!

xoxoxo

Hold on to it :)

This has always been one of my favourite song from Avril. Only recently  then I can connect her song with how my life is now. 

Innocence

Waking up I see that everything is OK

The first time in my life and now it's so great

Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed

I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it

This is the best feeling

[Chorus]

This innocence is brilliant

I hope that it will stay

This moment is perfect

Please don't go away

I need you now

And I'll hold on to it

Don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear

The first time in my life and now it's so clear

Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here

It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it

This is the best feeling

[Chorus]

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming

It's the happiness inside that you're feeling

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming

It's the happiness inside that you're feeling

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

This innocence is brilliant

Makes you wanna cry

This innocence is brilliance

Please don't go away

Cause I need you now

And I'll hold on to it

Don't you let it pass you by

[Chorus]

xoxoxo