S.T.R.E.S.S

Sick and tired of this.

What's "this"?

The blaming game.

I'm tired of waking up everyday, knowing it will be another boring day for me.

Wake up, collect dirty laundries, start the washing, sweep the floor, mop them too sometimes, give the dogs bath sometimes, have my breakfast, hang out the washed laundries. When my aunt is not around, I'll start to think of what to cook for lunch/dinner. If she is around, then I have nothin else to do til around 4-5pm. Thats when I would go and collect the dry laundries, sometimes go and pick up my cousin and brother from school, get ready for dinner, eat, clean up after dinner, feed doggies, clean up kitchen. Then later around 7-8pm, I'll be in the living room, folding the laundry as usual. 

And so, other then that in all the times in between, what did I do? I read, I go online, I read some more, I go pester the dogs, I lay around. 

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?!

Now receiving complains from my mum to not always be on the phone or reading. Get up, go and talk to people. 

Now here's the question. My aunt is always busy with her work in her room. My akek, whom I still have difficulty conversing with in Kayan, would be outside with his 'jala' and other stuff. When my cousins come over during their lunch break, they'd sleep. SO WHOM AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO? 

Waiting day by day for the response from any company or inteviews that I've attended. Zero. Ziltch. Nothing.

STRESS

They think I laze around all day carefree and not a single worry in my head? NO! 

EVERY.SINGLE.SECOND.I.AM.WORRY.

That is why I read. The more stress and worried I am, the more I will read. Especially at times like this where it is not easy for me to go out and chill wit my girls. Sometimes, that's all I need. A different environment for 2-3 hours, girlfriends to chitchat and gossip with, some bit of music, or maybe nice sceneries in front of me. That's all I need to release my stress. But since I can only go out once a week with love (coz I'm afraid if I go out more than once a week then people wi complain that I go out too much), reading is all I have left.

AND YET PEOPLE STILL COMPLAIN

i.give.up

Bye la!