I'm tired. Truly I am.
My life is one big mess. Mum and Dad fighting almost everyday. Siblings ignoring what my parents are going through. Financial state is in trouble. Can't concentrate 100% on my studies. And my heart is still mending from the hurt it's going through.
I am so very tired.
Heart aches are my constant companion now. Tears are not so far behind.
Everyone expects me to be strong. Yes, I am strong. But only on the outside. Inside, I'm just another weak girl.
Does anyone really understand the pain I am going through day by day? There are times when I believe that everything will be okay and that the pain is slowly starting to disappear. But it's only an illusion. The pain comes back 10 times stronger. And there's nothing I can do except hide my feelings and put on a brave face for the world to see. Alone in my room, I just break down and cry my heart out.
There's no one I can really talk to now, to share my feelings, to help me enlighten my burden. Besides, I don't dare to talk freely with another.. I can't take the sympathies in their eyes when I tell them my problems. Or even if I break down in front of them. The one person that I could pour my heart out to can't be here for me anymore. There's another more needy than me .. My problems are nothing compared to hers .. :'(
Do you know how much it hurts? How tired I am? So very much that there are times I wish I could just die... Just lie down and die. No more pain. That's how serious my situation is now.
Dear little heart of mine, how much more pain must you endure? How much longer can you pretend that everything is okay?
Words and advises are easy to give out. But doing what the advises tells you to do, not easy.
Be brave little heart of mine.
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